Breastfeeding grief: When feeding your baby doesn’t go as planned

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Many times things don’t go as expected during labor and delivery and/or with breastfeeding. The loss of our expectation of what we thought would happen become the root of our grief and depression. It’s so easy to blame ourselves when things go wrong, even though our society is not set up to support postpartum families in any capacity, especially related to breastfeeding. This happens more than you think and I see it every day in my practice helping families in their breastfeeding journeys.

Grief is a spectrum that is different for everyone. You may not have even realized that the emotions you’re experiencing related to your breastfeeding journey not going as expected are in fact grief. Rage, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, shame and guilt could all actually be stemmed from grief.

Different people need different ways to approach and process their grief. How do you start the grieving process? Recognition that you’re grieving the loss of an expectation is the first step. Realizing that you’re not the only one who is grieving their birth or breastfeeding story at this very moment can also normalize what you’re feeling. Give yourself permission and time to grieve. You may have a healthy, thriving baby. You may have really supportive family. You may have every resource available to you. That doesn’t negate your experience or the emotions you’re feeling.

Other steps to working through your postpartum and breastfeeding grief:
⭐️Avoid self blame
⭐️Surround yourself with people who will support you or who have gone through a similar experience
⭐️Talk to someone safe about what you’re experiencing. This may need to be a trained therapist
⭐️Find an IBCLC to help you reach your feeding goals. Schedule your consultation with me at www.lalactation.com
⭐️Hire a postpartum doula to help with baby and self care
⭐️Honor your story and the journey you’re on
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🖊@lalactation on IG
#postpartumbody #postpartumrevolution #postpartumdepression #postpartumanxiety #postpartumgrief #newbornmom #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodunited

How long is my breast pump good for?

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Your pump motor has a warranty for the number of hours it will provide strong suction for pumping. Each company has a different motor warranty for how long their pump will suck. Most pumps have a 2 year warranty for regular use (3-4 pumps a day while working a 5 day a week job) and this would get you through pumping while breastfeeding that baby. Each manufacturer should have this information on their website or in the pamphlet that came with your pump. The Spectra, one of my favorite pumps and very commonly used, has a motor life of approx 1500 hours with general use. For most, they find this pump will provide good suction for about 3-4 years. For Exclusive Pumpers (EP), many find the pump will wear out around 700-800 hours of use. If you only occasionally pumped with your first baby, you may find the pump works great for your second baby. You may also then get a different pump, like a portable or wearable. But if you pumped a lot, consider getting a new pump for each new baby born.

How long did you use your pump for before it wore out?

Used pumps are considered electronic waste. Disposal options include recycling through the manufacturer, or contacting your local recycling center or electronic recycling site to see if they will accept it.

#spectrabreastpump #spectra #breastpump #breastpumping #pumpingmom #pumpingmilk #pumpingtips #pumpprincess #breastmilkstorage #breastmilksupply

 

Ready to WEAN FROM PUMPING? Click here for more information.

Does my baby have a tongue tie?

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It’s the up and down pump action of the middle of the tongue that is essential for creating a vacuum (negative pressure) in the mouth for baby to be efficient at moving milk from the breast. Babies need to be able to protrude the tongue out past the lower gum line AND MAINTAIN IT protruded for the duration of the feeding. Diagnosis of a tie should never be done by visual assessment alone, especially from a picture. A picture is one literal snapshot in time and what the tongue does in that moment is not representative of how it moves spontaneously or when challenges with specific directions. Now there are extreme cases where the tongue is very clearly restricted, but a full assessment is still beneficial. To determine whether a tongue is tied or not, a skilled and highly trained provider should be spending several minutes with your baby, assessing their whole body as well as their tongue. Their fingers need to be in your baby’s mouth to see how the tongue moves, it’s strength and coordination. A full history and a feeding also need to be observed before deciding what kind of intervention may be needed. Does the baby just need to work on reducing tension in their body? Is it how mom is positioning the baby that’s causing pain and damage? It is there an actual lack of functional skill at play? All of this should be guided by a trained IBCLC. Your pediatrician is most likely not trained in this (I’ve seen rare exceptions). And parents on social media groups are certainly not properly trained. They are only coming from their own experience.

Want more information on ties? CLICK HERE  for videos on my YouTube channel

Did you know I teach a parent course on tongue ties? Tied and Untied is your complete source of all information related to ties. ENROLL HERE

#tonguetie #tonguetieprofessionals #tonguetiebabies #tonguetierelease #tonguetiesupport

My let down doesn’t feel as strong. Am I losing my milk supply?

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It is normal for you not to feel your let-down as strong as your baby gets older. Some never feel let-down, and some stop feeling the let-down sensation as time goes by. This does not necessarily indicate that let-down is not taking place.

Reliable signs of a healthy, functioning let-down include:
* In the first week or so, feeling uterine cramping during letdown.
* Baby changes sucking pattern from short and quick (like a pacifier suck) at the beginning of the feeding to more long, rhythmic suck a minute or so into the feeding. You’ll start to hear consistent swallowing that sounds like a “uh” or small puff of air. Baby’s jaw will drop lower with the swallow than with sucking
* A feeling of calm, relaxation, sleepiness or drowsiness
* Strong thirst when breastfeeding.
* Occasionally people can experience itching, nausea, headaches, or negative emotions during let down
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It’s quite normal to have a harder time letting down to a pump than to baby. The milk may be in the breast, but the stimulation from the pump may not be enough to trigger the release needed for the milk to flow. Although rare, this can occasionally happen when directly breastfeeding as well.

Many things can be the cause of a slow or inhibited let-down: anxiety, pain, embarrassment, stress, cold, excessive caffeine, smoking, use of alcohol, or certain medications. People with breast surgery or nipple piercing history may have nerve damage that can interfere with let-down. In extreme situations of stress or crisis, the release of extra adrenaline (the “fight or flight” response) can reduce or block the hormones which affect let-down.

Let down can be a conditioned response. Sometimes a cycle is created, where baby fusses and pulls off because the let-down is slow, which makes mom tense up, which makes the let-down even slower, etc. You can use relaxation techniques and let-down cues to break this cycle.

#letdown #letdownreflex #letdownmilk #milkstash #treeoflifebreastfeeding #treeoflifeart #breastfedbaby #breastfeedingbabies #breastfeedingbaby #breastfeedingart

Constantly feeding breastfed baby: Is it normal for them to want to feed all the time?

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CONSTANT FEEDING
Do you some time feel like baby is constantly feeding? As long as breastfeeding is pain free, baby is making 6+ wet and consistent poops and gaining weight over time, everything is going as it should!! The more baby removes milk from the breast, the higher your supply actually is!!

Myth: If baby wants to feed more frequently than normal, and is super fussy, it means I don’t have enough milk or my milk is drying up.
Fact: babies want to be at the breast for all kinds of reasons: hunger, thirst, boredom, comfort, pain relief, for sickness/feeling unwell, when they’re grumpy, soothing, sleep, because they’re a baby. Babies are constantly going through growth spurts and requires more food. By the time they go through multiple growth spurts it’s time to teethe. By feeding more frequently they are meeting their caloric needs while helping you increase your supply while being comforted and getting some sleep. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, sleep, hydration and food to meet this increased demand.

If breastfeeding is established and going well (you’re past 2-3 weeks and you have an established milk supply), don’t be so quick to always blame the breast for baby’s fussiness. And don’t withhold the breast because of the clock or some other “schedule” baby “needs to follow” because “the book said...” trust your body. Trust your baby. When in doubt, boob out.

Conversely, do you feel your older baby doesn’t nurse enough? Like they used to feed every 2-3 hours for 20-30 minutes and now they feed for only a few minutes? Babies 3+ months are more efficient at breastfeeding. How quickly can you drink a glass of water? Normally we don’t chug it quickly, but we can. As babies learn there’s an exciting world out there, they can some times feed really quickly to get back to what they were doing. Don’t be surprised if your older baby has quick feeds.
Myth: my baby needs to eat 15 minutes on each side
Fact: every baby feeds in their own unique way. Some can take a full feeding in just a few minutes and others like to hang out at the breast.
Learn your baby. If they’re making good wet and dirty diapers and happy, let them feed in their own way

When should my baby sleep through the night?

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There are many reasons why your baby would wake more often to feed at night. Regardless of what you find online or from well meaning family and friends, there is no specific, developmental weight or age when a child no longer needs to feed overnight. There is no scientific or medical standard or recommendations for when a baby no longer needs nutrition at night. Society also says babies shouldn’t need tended to at night time and that we should teach them, often from a ridiculously early age, not to need us at night. In reality, we are not in control and neither are our babies. We’re in a mutual relationship where we are learning what our babies need and when they need it. Reasons why babies wake to feed over night:
💡Growth spurts
💡Developmental leap
💡You were gone at work and they missed you, they want breast milk straight from the breast, they didn’t take as much from the bottle while you were gone
💡Teething
💡They were distracted during the day because the world is an amazing place to learn in and they’re making up for calories over night
💡Sickness
💡They had a bad dream or are scared without you
💡Because they’re human

Per current research, 78% of babies wake up at least once a night and 60% of waking to feed until 1 year (Brown, 2015). That’s NORMAL. Between 12-18 months your toddler may still occasionally wake to feed. Or they may just need an adult to help them transition back to sleep. It’s not until 24 months that the human baby has matured enough to not consistently need an adult to help them transition back to sleep over night (Paavonen, 2020).

It’s normal for your child to wake to feed, but if at any time it starts to wear on your physical, emotional, or mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for a consultation. There are strategies to help with routines to find the balance between biology and sanity.

#sleeplikeababy #growthspurt #developmentalleap #wonderweeks #nightfeeds #nightfeeding #toddlerbreastfeeding #momhood #motherhoodjourney #sleeptraining #sleeptips

Will breastfeeding make my breasts saggy?

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SAGGY BOOBS
True or false: Pumping or breastfeeding makes your boobs sag. False. Neither pumping nor breastfeeding makes droopy boobies. A study done in 2008 concluded that the risk of breast ptosis, aka sagging, increases with each pregnancy, but has no correlation to breastfeeding (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19083576/)

Many things can cause drooping:
* Gravity: can’t fight it. While pulling your breasts down, it strains and stretches the ligaments that support your breasts
* Breast Size and Shape: Smaller breasts with a rounder bottom tend to hold their shape better than larger or narrow breasts. Larger breasts lose the battle to gravity more
* Body Mass Index: a higher BMI tends to equal larger breasts
* Weight Loss or Gain: Gaining or losing a lot of weight, especially quickly like in pregnancy, can change the shape of breasts and stretch/shrink the skin surrounding them.
* Smoking: causes skin to lose elasticity
* Genetics: family genes play a part in size and shape or breasts, the strength of the ligaments supporting breasts, and body weight
* Number of Pregnancies: The more babes you have, the more stretched out your breasts will be
* Exercise Without Support: puts extra strain on the breast ligaments, leading to stretching of the ligaments and sagging of the breasts
* Age: it’s just a normal part of life

With many factors that contribute to sagging, you can't completely prevent it. Some things you can do to try to keep your breasts from sinking south as long as possible:
* Good posture. When you slouch and have poor posture, gravity wins
* Healthy weight. Eat a well-balanced diet, get some exercise, and try not to gain/lose weight too quickly
* Hydrate. Keep your skin healthy and hydrated to try to preserve its elasticity
* Don't smoke

#saggyboobsmatter #saggyboobs #saggybreast #mombod #mombody #postpartumbody

Vitamin D and the breastfed baby: Do I need to supplement the baby?

 

Vitamin and mineral supplements are usually not needed for the average healthy, full-term breastfed baby during the first year old life. One of the major exceptions to that is Vitamin D. Vitamin D is essential to babies in order to maintain healthy bone growth and development.  Recent research also tells us that vitamin D is key in the maintenance of our immune systems to help prevent and fight infections and inflammation. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all babies receive routine vitamin D supplementation (400 IU per day) due to decreased sunlight exposure and an increase in rickets, which impacts leg growth and development. Practically everyone is at risk for vitamin D deficiency with, ironically, only formula-fed babies out of the danger zone because infant formula already contains 400 IU of vitamin D per quart of properly prepared formula.

If you are exclusively breastfeeding, your pediatrician should have educated you to supplement your baby with vitamin D, typically given as drops. But they may not have told you about how to supplement. There are two ways to supplement: to the baby or to you are the parent.

The primary source of vitamin D for babies, other than sunlight, is the stores that were laid down in baby’s body prior to birth. Because our vitamin D status during pregnancy directly affects baby’s vitamin D stores at birth and through the first 2-3 months of life, make sure to get enough vitamin D while pregnant! Human breastmilk is considered a very poor source of vitamin D, usually containing less than 50 IU per quart. This is why the AAP recommends all breastfed infants receive 400 IU per day vitamin D by supplement drops. This IS NOT A DEFECT IN BREAST MILK but a defect in the recommended amount of vitamin D the lactating parent should be taking. 

The best way to get vitamin D, the way that our bodies were designed to get the vast majority of our vitamin D, is from the sun. Depending upon where you live and how dark your skin is, going outside regularly may be all that is required for you or your baby to generate adequate amounts of vitamin D to need no further supplementation.  However, most health care professionals won’t tell you to get vitamin D from the sun because the risks of sun burn and skin cancer! One of the other problems with getting your vitamin D with sun exposure is simply that it’s hard to determine how much time outside is needed since it depends on so many factors (your unique skin tone, the latitude on the earth of where you live, the time of year, how much skin is exposed, amount of air pollution, etc.) There is a range of how much skin exposure to how long you need to be outside int the sun for your body to make adequate levels for your unique self. I cannot tell you through this video how much skin exposure or a length of time to be in the sun because of all of these factors, you would need to research these individual factors. 

So how else can you get vitamin D? Research shows that maternal vitamin D supplementation of 4000-6400 IU/d or a single monthly dosage of 150,000 IU) can adequately supply your breastmilk where no additional supplementation to your baby would be needed.  As long as you are not vitamin D deficient, your breastmilk will also have adequate amounts of vitamin D levels. For more information on the research behind this, check out  [Hollis et al 2015] and Hollis & Wagner 2004. In summary, yes, someone needs supplemented for vitamin D. In reality, vitamin D is just as essential for you as it is for the baby. If you have any concerns with vitamin D deficiency, both you AND the baby need to be supplemented. You can supplement the baby by drops, usually done on the nipple before latching or if you are giving breast milk bottles, you can add that to one of the bottles. You could also put the drop on a pacifier and have baby suck it that way. For you, taking 4000-6400 IU per day is adequate for most to prevent deficiencies and sun exposure is an option when done safely knowing your unique situation. 

 

Want to know more about picking the right bottle or pacifier for your breastfed baby? Take my Latched class where we discuss all things latching! CLICK HERE TO ENROLL TODAY

Milk blebs

A milk bleb happens when the nipple pore gets blocked/clogged by a piece of skin or a small amount of hardened breast milk. It usually looks like a white dot on the nipple and the pain tends to be focused at that spot and just behind it. The clog might be a tiny, dry clump of hardened milk or a “string” of fattier, semi-solidified milk. 

 

Blebs are often caused by:

  • 👉🏼Shallow latch
  • 👉🏼Tongue tied baby
  • 👉🏼Pumping with too large of a flange
  • 👉🏼Often associated with recurrent mastitis

 

When the bleb is being caused by skin covering the nipple pore, the duct obstruction will often pop out from the pressure of nursing or manual expression. By changing baby’s position at the breast and focusing on a deep latch, breastfeeding alone will often pop the bleb.

 

Always figure out the root of why you have one and address that first. Other remedies:

  • ❤️‍🩹Keeping olive or coconut oil on the top to soften the bleb
  • ❤️‍🩹Hand expressing behind the bleb to move milk through
  • ❤️‍🩹Switch nursing positions
  • ❤️‍🩹Taking sunflower lecithin  
  • ❤️‍🩹Ice after feeding to reduce inflammation
  • ❤️‍🩹Epsom salt or saline soaks
  • ❤️‍🩹Triamcinolone 0.1% spot applied for 1-3 weeks under direction of an IBCLC
  • ❤️‍🩹If they do not resolve on their own in a few days, seeing a breast specialist for further work up and management

 

A milk bleb happens when the nipple pore gets blocked/clogged by a piece of skin or a small amount of hardened breast milk. It usually looks like a white dot on the nipple and the pain tends to be focused at that spot and just behind it. The clog might be a tiny, dry clump of hardened milk or a “string” of fattier, semi-solidified milk. 

 

Blebs are often caused by:

  • 👉🏼Shallow latch
  • 👉🏼Tongue tied baby
  • 👉🏼Pumping with too large of a flange
  • 👉🏼Often associated with recurrent mastitis

 

When the bleb is being caused by skin covering the nipple pore, the duct obstruction will often pop out from the pressure of nursing or manual expression. By changing baby’s position at the breast and focusing on a deep latch, breastfeeding alone will often pop the bleb.

 

Always figure out the root of why you have one and address that first. Other remedies:

  • ❤️‍🩹Keeping olive or coconut oil on the top to soften the bleb
  • ❤️‍🩹Hand expressing behind the bleb to move milk through
  • ❤️‍🩹Switch nursing positions
  • ❤️‍🩹Taking sunflower lecithin 
  • ❤️‍🩹Ice after feeding to reduce inflammation
  • ❤️‍🩹Epsom salt or saline soaks
  • ❤️‍🩹Triamcinolone 0.1% spot applied for 1-3 weeks under direction of an IBCLC
  • ❤️‍🩹If they do not resolve on their own in a few days, seeing a breast specialist for further work up and management

 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

 

#milkbleb #milkblebtreatment #milkblebhack #milkblister #breastfeedingproblems #pumpingproblems #pumpingprotips #pumpingmom #lactation #ibclclife #ibclc #breastfeed

 

Postpartum chin and nipple hair

Sprouting chin hairs? Random nipple/areola/boob hairs? Blame those darn hormones again. Immediately after delivery, a sudden increase in estrogen may have you noticing thicker, darker hair in strange and unwanted places. The body uses an enzyme to change the estrogen to testosterone which can lead to a “beard.” The hair will most likely return to its normal state within a few months. There are lots of options for removing your chin hair: wait it out and see if hair growth stops or slows as hormones settle. Or you can pluck, wax, or even shave it. If you’re considering making an appointment for laser hair removal, you’ll want to make sure you visit an actual dermatologist, as not all center or clinic practitioners have the correct training or even the correct laser tools. There is no evidence that electrolysis or laser hair removal would affect breastfeeding, breast milk, or your breastfed baby.

What about those pesky nipple hairs? Trust me, more people have them than just you. If you can’t resist the urge, trimming them with scissors is a safe way to keep them at bay. Tweezing nipple hair can be an effective way to get rid of unwanted nipple/areolar/breast hair. However, this can be painful as breast and nipple skin can be particularly sensitive while breastfeeding. Honestly the best thing to do is leave it alone. You wouldn’t want to increase the risk of infection and ingrown hairs by plucking or tweezing. Cracked nipples from a shallow latch and mastitis from the wrong size pump flange are enough to deal with without having to tell your lactation consultant you were overly zealous plucking the tablecloth.

#postpartumhair #postpartumhairgrowth #postpartumchanges #healthyhormones #pregnancyhormones #lactationsupport #lactationspecialist