Author: Julie Matheney

Feeding babies has been my passion since I was ten years old. Almost twenty years ago, I pursued becoming a speech therapist to work with babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. In working in that setting, I realized I wanted a more intimate approach to working alongside families as they struggled to feed their babies. I became a board certified lactation consultant and have really fallen in love with what I do. There’s nothing better than empowering families to reach their feeding goals, wherever they are in their journey, whether it’s exclusive breastfeeding, combo feeding, pumping or bottle feeding. I offer prenatal breastfeeding classes, virtual, office and home consultations. I can assess for tongue or lip ties, educate on pumps to maximize pumping sessions, transition baby to bottle in preparation for parents going back to work, help increase or decrease milk supply, and assist with all breastfeeding challenges.

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (DMER) vs Intrusive Thoughts

- Julie Matheney

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) and intrusive thoughts can both be distressing experiences during breastfeeding, but they are distinct phenomena with different causes and characteristics. Here’s a breakdown of each, how they overlap, and how they differ:

What Is D-MER?

• Definition: D-MER is a physiological response to milk ejection (letdown) characterized by a sudden wave of negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, or anger.

• Cause: Thought to be linked to a sudden drop in dopamine during the letdown reflex, which is necessary to release prolactin for milk production.

• Key Features:

• Emotions are fleeting, lasting 30 seconds to 2 minutes during or just before milk letdown.

• The feelings are tied directly to the act of breastfeeding or pumping, not external triggers.

• Mothers often describe it as a “doom-like” sensation.

• The feelings fade as the breastfeeding session progresses.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts During Breastfeeding?

• Definition: Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts or mental images that can be distressing. They often focus on fears of harm to the baby, inadequacy, or catastrophic events.

• Cause: Typically linked to postpartum mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder

• Key Features:

• Can occur at any time, not just during breastfeeding

• Not tied to a physiological reflex but rather psychological or emotional stress.

• The thoughts can feel persistent and overwhelming, even if they are fleeting.

• Often accompanied by feelings of guilt or shame for having the thoughts.

Key Differences Between D-MER and Intrusive Thoughts

Aspect D-MER Intrusive Thoughts

Trigger Milk letdown reflex. Psychological or emotional stress.

Duration Brief (30 seconds to 2 minutes). Can last minutes or longer; may recur.

Emotion Type Sudden, generalized dysphoria (sadness, anxiety, dread). Specific fears, often irrational (e.g., harm to baby).

Connection to Actions Does not provoke specific thoughts or fears of acting on emotions. May involve fears of acting on thoughts, though this is rare.

Cause Hormonal (dopamine drop during letdown). Psychological (linked to postpartum mental health).

Overlap Between D-MER and Intrusive Thoughts

Both can occur during breastfeeding and may contribute to a mother feeling overwhelmed or questioning her ability to cope. However, the underlying mechanisms are different, and the strategies for addressing them vary.

Red Flags to Distinguish Intrusive Thoughts From D-MER

1. When They Occur:

• If the distress arises only during milk letdown and fades quickly, it is likely D-MER.

• If it occurs outside of feeding or is tied to specific scenarios, it is likely intrusive thoughts.

2. Content:

• D-MER involves generalized dysphoria, not specific fears or scenarios.

• Intrusive thoughts often have vivid, specific, and sometimes graphic content.

3. Level of Distress:

• D-MER causes emotional discomfort but usually not panic or deep guilt.

• Intrusive thoughts can be deeply distressing, triggering anxiety or obsessive worry.

4. Impact on Bonding or Functioning:

• D-MER is unlikely to affect overall bonding with the baby.

• Intrusive thoughts may lead to avoidance of certain situations (e.g., not wanting to be alone with the baby).

How to Manage D-MER vs. Intrusive Thoughts

• For D-MER:

• Understanding It: Knowing it is a hormonal reflex can ease guilt or fear.

• Stay Hydrated and Eat Regularly: Stable blood sugar may help.

• Monitor Triggers: Some mothers find stress or caffeine can worsen symptoms.

• Seek Support: Talking to a lactation consultant who is familiar with D-MER can provide reassurance.

• For Intrusive Thoughts:

• Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help manage anxiety and reframe intrusive thoughts.

• Medication: Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may be helpful if symptoms are severe.

• Mindfulness Techniques: Grounding exercises can help reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts

• Talk About It: Sharing these thoughts with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist can help normalize the experience and reduce shame.

When to Seek Professional Help

• If you are unsure whether you’re experiencing D-MER or intrusive thoughts, consult a lactation consultant or mental health professional.

• Seek immediate help if you feel like you might act on harmful thoughts or if the distress is impacting your ability to care for your baby or yourself.

Remember

Neither D-MER nor intrusive thoughts mean you are a bad parent. Both are challenges that can be managed with the right support, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re not alone in this.

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) and intrusive thoughts during breastfeeding are both distressing experiences, but they stem from different causes. D-MER is a physiological response to the letdown reflex caused by a sudden drop in dopamine. It brings on a brief wave of negative emotions—like sadness, anxiety, or dread—that last for a minute or two during or just before milk letdown. These feelings are tied directly to breastfeeding or pumping and fade quickly, without involving specific fears or scenarios. In contrast, intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary mental images or ideas, often tied to fears of harm or inadequacy. They are psychological in origin, often linked to postpartum anxiety or depression, and may occur at any time, not just during breastfeeding.

While D-MER is hormonally driven and passes quickly, intrusive thoughts can feel persistent and distressing, sometimes interfering with bonding or daily life. If your experience involves fleeting negative emotions solely during letdown, it may be D-MER. However, if the thoughts are vivid, specific, and provoke intense guilt or fear—particularly if they feel constant or unmanageable—it could indicate a postpartum mental health condition. In either case, reaching out to a lactation consultant or mental health professional can provide clarity and support, helping you navigate these challenges without judgment.

Intrusive thoughts as a new parent

- Julie Matheney

Intrusive thoughts while breastfeeding are more common than many people realize and can be deeply distressing for parents who experience them. These thoughts often come out of nowhere, feel unwanted, and can cause feelings of guilt or fear. Here’s a breakdown of where they come from, what’s normal, and when to seek help:

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

• Definition: Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts or images that pop into your mind. They can be bizarre, scary, or even disturbing.

• Common in New Parenthood: They often revolve around fears of harming your baby (accidentally or intentionally), your baby being harmed by others, or catastrophic events (e.g., dropping your baby or suffocating them during sleep).

Where Do Intrusive Thoughts Come From?

1. Hormonal Changes:

• Postpartum hormone shifts (like drops in estrogen and progesterone) can affect mood and thought patterns.

• Oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” can heighten your emotional sensitivity and awareness, making you hyper-alert to perceived dangers.

2. Sleep Deprivation:

• Lack of sleep impacts mental health and increases anxiety, which can lead to more intrusive thoughts.

3. Heightened Responsibility:

• The intense responsibility of caring for a newborn can trigger fears about your ability to protect and care for them.

4. Postpartum Mental Health Conditions:

• Intrusive thoughts are common in postpartum anxiety (PPA), postpartum depression (PPD), or postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (PPOCD).

5. Evolutionary Factors:

• Some researchers believe intrusive thoughts are an evolutionary “alarm system” designed to make parents vigilant about their baby’s safety.

What’s Normal vs. Concerning?

Normal Intrusive Thoughts:

• Brief and fleeting.

• Recognized as irrational or not aligned with your values.

• Do not lead to actions.

Red Flags:

• Thoughts are persistent and distressing, interfering with your ability to function or bond with your baby.

• You feel like you might act on the thoughts or cannot separate yourself from them.

• They are accompanied by other symptoms of postpartum mental health issues, such as:

• Intense anxiety or panic attacks.

• Feeling emotionally disconnected from your baby.

• Hopelessness, worthlessness, or excessive guilt.

• Difficulty eating, sleeping, or concentrating.

When to Seek Help

If intrusive thoughts are causing significant distress or you feel unsafe, reaching out to a healthcare provider is essential. Support options include:

• Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is especially effective for managing intrusive thoughts.

• Medication: Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may help in severe cases.

• Support Groups: Postpartum mental health groups can normalize your experience and provide coping strategies.

• Lactation Consultant: If breastfeeding itself feels like a trigger, a lactation consultant can help identify ways to make the experience more comfortable and manageable.

Tips for Managing Intrusive Thoughts

• Acknowledge and Label the Thoughts: Recognize them as intrusive, not reflective of your true feelings.

• Practice Self-Compassion: You are not a bad parent for having these thoughts. They are not your fault.

• Talk to Someone: Confiding in a trusted friend, partner, or therapist can ease the shame and isolation.

• Grounding Techniques: Mindfulness, breathing exercises, or engaging in sensory activities (like holding a warm cup of tea) can redirect your focus.

• Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition: Even small improvements in self-care can make a big difference.

Intrusive thoughts can feel scary, but they don’t define you as a parent. With support and care, they can be managed and often resolved. You’re not alone, and help is available.

Why does my baby’s poop change around the holidays?

- Julie Matheney

Holiday Feasts and Baby Poop: What’s the Connection?

As the holidays roll around, we tend to indulge in all the seasonal goodies—think mashed potatoes, stuffing, pies, and countless treats. While your baby might not be joining you for a plate of turkey just yet, the changes in your diet can have a surprising impact on their digestive system. If you’ve noticed shifts in your baby’s poop during the holiday season, you’re not imagining it!

•Breast milk reflects what you eat: The flavors, nutrients, and even some compounds in the food you enjoy make their way into your breast milk. Rich, indulgent meals or an increase in dairy, spices, or sugary treats can subtly alter your milk’s composition. This exposes your baby to your family diet and is natures way of getting them ready for a wide variety in their diet

•While most babies tolerate variations in mom’s diet well, some may experience changes in poop color, consistency, or frequency. Green or looser than normal stools are common, but temporary, around the holidays

While poop changes are typically harmless and temporary, keep an eye out for these red flags:

• Blood or mucus in the stool

• Diarrhea lasting more than a day or two

• Hard, pellet-like stools (sign of constipation)

• Signs of discomfort or fussiness during bowel movements

How to Help Your Baby’s Tummy Through the Holidays

• Stay hydrated: If you’re breastfeeding, drink plenty of water (especially with all the salty holiday foods!)

• Balance indulgent foods: Incorporate fruits, veggies, and other fiber-rich options into your meals

• Go slow with new foods: If your baby is sampling solids, introduce one or two new items at a time to avoid overwhelming their system

Holiday meals are a joyful time to gather with loved ones and enjoy delicious food. And yes, your baby’s poop may tell the tale of your holiday indulgences—but it’s all part of the adventure! If you have any concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician or lactation consultant for guidance.

Cheers to a healthy (and happy pooping) holiday season!

Cup feeding baby when they refuse a bottle

- Julie Matheney

Cup Feeding: An Alternative When Baby Refuses a Bottle

Picture this: you’ve tried every bottle shape, nipple flow, and feeding position, and your baby still looks at you like, “Nah, I’m good.” If you’re heading back to work and your baby won’t take a bottle, don’t panic—you’ve got options! One great alternative is cup feeding. Yep, feeding a baby with a tiny cup isn’t just adorable—it’s practical, too!

What is Cup Feeding?

Cup feeding involves offering small sips of milk to your baby from an open or specially designed infant cup. It’s a tried-and-true method often used in hospitals for preemies or babies who can’t latch, and it can work wonders when bottles aren’t cutting it. Plus, it doesn’t interfere with breastfeeding, which is a win-win!

Why Try Cup Feeding?

🍼 No bottle drama: If your baby is rejecting bottles, cup feeding can bypass the entire issue.

👶 Preserves breastfeeding skills: Unlike bottles, cups don’t require sucking, so babies can go back to the breast without confusion.

⏳ Temporary solution: It’s a great option while your baby is learning to accept a bottle—or it might even become your go-to feeding method!

How to Start Cup Feeding

1. Choose the right cup

You can use a small open cup (like a shot glass or a medicine cup) or a silicone baby training cup. Some parents like using soft, flexible cups designed specifically for cup feeding.

2. Get comfy

Hold your baby upright, with their head supported. Place the cup at their lower lip and tilt it just enough for the milk to reach the edge—don’t pour it into their mouth! Let your baby lap or sip the milk at their own pace. (Spoiler: It might get messy at first. That’s normal!)

3. Be patient

It may take a few tries before your baby gets the hang of it, but most babies figure it out pretty quickly. Remember, they only need small sips at a time.

4. Go slow and steady

Cup feeding isn’t about speed—it’s about letting your baby take in just enough milk without overwhelming them. Watch for their cues, and don’t worry if it’s slow-going at first.

How Much Milk Should You Offer?

While newborns may only take ½ to 1 oz per feeding, older babies can manage a full 2–5 oz feeding with this method. Offer what you would normally give in a bottle, based on your baby’s age and hunger cues.

Final Thoughts

Cup feeding can be a lifesaver if you’re heading back to work and bottles just aren’t happening. It’s a flexible, gentle option that helps your baby get the milk they need without interfering with breastfeeding. Plus, it’s a cool party trick—who knew your baby could drink from a cup before they could even crawl?

Like anything with babies, cup feeding takes practice and patience, but you’ve got both in spades. Trust yourself, trust your baby, and keep doing what works best for your family. You’ve got this!

Will pacifiers sabotage my breastfeeding journey?

- Julie Matheney

Pacifiers can be a helpful tool in soothing a fussy baby, but figuring out how and when to introduce one can feel a bit tricky. Newborns tend to just spit them out and they can’t put them back in by themselves

If you’re breastfeeding, it’s generally recommended to wait until breastfeeding is well-established (around 3-4 weeks), but babies don’t read the manuals. It’s okay to use one sooner if it helps with baby’s digestion or transitioning to sleep after a full feeding

Tips for Introducing a Pacifier:

⏰Pick the Right Moment

Timing is everything. Try offering the pacifier when your baby is calm but looking for comfort—after a feeding, during a diaper change meltdown, or in the car seat during a dreaded red light stop

🛑 Don’t Force It

If your baby spits it out or gags, it’s okay. Try again later or in a different setting. Babies need time to learn the oral motor skills to keep a pacifier in their mouth

👄 If your baby starts spitting out the pacifier right away, it’s because they haven’t created the vacuum in their mouth to keep it in yet. Try holding it gently in their mouth for a few seconds and giving a little wiggle to stimulate their suck reflex. Often, they just need a moment to latch on

The Pacifier and Feeding Balance

One common worry is that pacifiers will interfere with feeding. While this can happen if pacifier use replaces feeding cues, offering the pacifier after feeding or when your baby is full ensures they’re still getting the nourishment they need. If you’re unsure, watch your baby’s feeding behavior closely—babies have a way of letting you know when they want the real deal.

Pacifiers aren’t for every baby (or every family), but if they work for you, they can be a lifesaver during those long nights and cranky afternoons. And if your baby decides they’re not into it? That’s okay too—you’ll find your own soothing rhythm together

As always, trust your gut, trust your baby, and do what works best for your family. You’ve got this!

THC and breast milk

- Julie Matheney

Navigating the journey of motherhood often brings up questions about lifestyle choices and their impact on your baby, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. One topic that frequently arises is the use of marijuana during this period. Let’s explore the current understanding, based on recent research, to help you make informed decisions.

Transfer of THC into Breast Milk

Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the primary psychoactive component in cannabis, is known to transfer into breast milk. Studies have shown that exclusively breastfeeding infants may ingest an estimated average of 2.5% of the maternal THC dose, with some variations ranging from 0.4% to 8.7%  . This transfer occurs because THC is highly fat-soluble, allowing it to accumulate in breast milk.

Duration of THC Presence in Breast Milk

Research indicates that THC can be detectable in breast milk for extended periods. A study led by Washington State University found that even after mothers abstained from cannabis use for 12 hours, THC remained present in their breast milk  . The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that THC can be present in breast milk for up to six days after use, with some studies suggesting even longer durations  .

Potential Impacts on Infant Health

The long-term effects of THC exposure through breast milk are not yet fully understood. Some studies have raised concerns about potential impacts on infant development, including delayed motor development  . Additionally, research has observed changes in the composition of breast milk among cannabis users, such as increased lactose levels and decreased levels of secretory immunoglobulin A (SIgA), which plays a crucial role in the infant’s immune system  .

Guidelines and Recommendations

Given the current state of research, many health organizations advise caution. The CDC recommends that breastfeeding mothers avoid marijuana use due to the potential risks to the infant  . Similarly, the American Academy of Pediatrics discourages the use of cannabis products while breastfeeding.

Balancing Information and Personal Choice

As mothers, we strive to make the best choices for our children, often weighing various factors and information. While some data suggests minimal transfer of THC to the infant, the lack of comprehensive studies on long-term effects means caution is advisable. It’s essential to consider the current research, consult with healthcare providers, and reflect on your unique circumstances when making decisions about marijuana use during breastfeeding.

Remember, every mother’s journey is personal, and seeking guidance from trusted healthcare professionals can provide support tailored to your situation.

Here are the sources cited in APA format based on the information provided:

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (n.d.). Marijuana use while breastfeeding. CDC. Retrieved January 16, 2025, from https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding-special-circumstances/hcp/vaccine-medication-drugs/marijuana.html

2. Hale, T. W., & Rowe, H. E. (2022). Medications and mothers’ milk (19th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.

3. National Center for Biotechnology Information. (n.d.). The health effects of cannabis and cannabinoids: The current state of evidence and recommendations for research. Retrieved January 16, 2025, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501587/

4. Public Library of Science. (2024). THC transfer into breast milk: A review of studies and emerging research. PLOS ONE.

5. Washington State University. (2024, May 8). THC lingers in breastmilk with no clear peak point. WSU News. Retrieved January 16, 2025, from https://news.wsu.edu/press-release/2024/05/08/thc-lingers-in-breastmilk-with-no-clear-peak-point/

6. Wymore, E. M., Palmer, C., Wang, G. S., Metz, T. D., Bourne, D., & Sempio, C. (2021). Marijuana use in breastfeeding mothers and its impact on lactation outcomes. Breastfeeding Medicine, 16(3), 184–191.

Is it ok for my baby to sleep with their mouth open?

- Julie Matheney

Why should babies sleep with their mouths closed?

You might be wondering, “Does it really matter if my baby sleeps with their mouth open?” The answer is: YES, and here’s why—keeping that little mouth closed isn’t just adorable; it’s essential for their development and long-term health. Let’s break it down:

1. Better breathing = better sleep

Babies are designed to be nose breathers. When their mouths stay closed, air passes through the nose, where it’s filtered, warmed, and humidified. This helps prevent dry mouth and keeps airways moist, making breathing smoother and quieter. Mouth breathing can lead to snoring, interrupted sleep, and even mild sleep apnea in some cases. And we all know—better breathing means better sleep for everyone!

2. Facial development & growth

When your baby sleeps with their mouth closed, their tongue naturally rests on the roof of their mouth. This constant gentle pressure promotes proper facial development. Babies’ growing faces are highly malleable, and mouth-breathing can affect how their jaw, cheeks, and even nasal passages form. Long-term mouth breathing can result in a more narrow, elongated face with a higher risk of dental issues.

3. Palatal expansion & tongue posture

Did you know your baby’s palate (roof of the mouth) is actively shaping itself during infancy? When the tongue rests on the palate during sleep, it encourages the palate to broaden and flatten out, making room for future teeth and promoting a healthy bite. Mouth breathing, on the other hand, can leave the palate high and narrow, which can contribute to issues like crowding of teeth and needing orthodontic intervention later on.

How to encourage nose breathing:

• Check for nasal congestion: If your baby’s nose is stuffy, it’s natural for them to open their mouth to breathe. You can help by using saline drops and a nasal aspirator to gently clear things up.

• Check for ties: Tongue and lip ties can affect tongue posture, making it harder for your baby to keep their mouth closed. If you suspect a tie, consult with a lactation consultant or pediatric provider for an evaluation.

• Monitor sleep position: Babies sleeping with their heads tilted back or mouths open may benefit from a slightly adjusted sleep position. However, always follow safe sleep guidelines!

The takeaway?

A closed-mouth sleeper isn’t just cute—it’s a sign that your baby is breathing well, developing properly, and setting the stage for a healthy smile. Keeping their mouth closed during sleep helps with breathing, facial growth, and creating the perfect space for those future teeth to line up just right.

If you’re concerned about mouth breathing or have noticed your baby always sleeps with their mouth open, don’t hesitate to reach out to a provider. Early intervention can make a big difference!

Now go ahead—gently close that little mouth after the next midnight feeding, and rest easy knowing you’re helping your baby grow, breathe, and thrive!

How could my pediatrician miss my baby’s tongue tie?

- Julie Matheney

Missed Ties: Why It’s Not Always You (And How to Advocate for Better Support)

It’s heartbreaking to hear stories from parents whose babies have struggled to breastfeed, only to have their concerns dismissed or misdiagnosed. One of the most common issues I see in my practice? Tongue and lip ties that are very obvious to trained eyes but somehow missed by pediatricians, and yes, sometimes even by untrained lactation consultants.

Let me break this down:

Breastfeeding Is the Biological Norm

Our bodies are designed to feed our babies. It’s a system millions of years in the making. Babies come into the world with the reflexes and tools they need to feed effectively—and our breasts are designed to meet their needs. When breastfeeding isn’t working, the question we should ask isn’t if you’re capable, but why it’s not happening as it should.

It’s Not Always You, Mama

Yes, modern life can throw curveballs into the breastfeeding journey. Hormonal imbalances, thyroid disorders, and even certain medications can affect milk supply. But here’s the kicker: when there’s pain, damage, or low milk supply after birth, the issue is often not your body—it’s the baby’s ability to nurse effectively.

Tongue and Lip Ties Are Often Missed

If breastfeeding is a struggle, and your baby isn’t transferring milk well or causing you pain, it’s not enough for a pediatrician to just glance inside their mouth. Here’s what a thorough tie assessment should include:

• A Functional Exam: The provider should gently manipulate your baby’s tongue to assess its ability to move in all directions (up, down, side-to-side, and forward).

• Observation of a Feeding: Watching how baby latches, sucks, and swallows provides critical clues about what’s going on.

• Nipple Assessment: Checking your nipples before and after a feed can reveal if baby’s latch is causing damage or isn’t deep enough.

• Symptom History: You and your baby’s feeding challenges are part of the puzzle—this context matters.

If this didn’t happen, your baby wasn’t really assessed for ties.

What Pediatricians (and Some Providers) Get Wrong

Many pediatricians are incredible at their jobs—but infant oral function isn’t their specialty. If they tell you low milk supply is simply “your fault” or that formula or pumping is your only solution without addressing the underlying why, they’re not being breastfeeding supportive.

And if you’re pumping enough milk to feed your baby, but they still can’t latch or transfer milk well from the breast? That’s a BABY issue—not a YOU issue.

How to Advocate for Your Feeding Journey

• Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, keep pushing for answers. You know your baby best.

• Seek Specialists: Work with a trained lactation consultant (IBCLC) who has experience assessing oral ties and feeding issues.

• Comprehensive Care: Ask for a full feeding evaluation, not just a quick “look in the mouth.”

• Get to the Root Cause: Don’t settle for Band-Aid fixes like pumping-only solutions or being told to “wait it out.” Resolving the underlying issue is key to breastfeeding success.

You Deserve Real Support

Your baby’s challenges are not a reflection of your ability to provide for them. You’re doing an incredible job by seeking answers and fighting for your feeding journey. If breastfeeding isn’t going as planned, there is a reason—and with the right support, you can find it.

Because here’s the truth: Breastfeeding is natural, but it’s not always easy. And when it’s hard, you deserve care that addresses the real problem, not just the symptoms.

You’ve got this—and you’re not alone.

Are you Pump Trapped?

- Julie Matheney

Are You Pump Trapped? How Comfort Pumping Can Backfire

If you’ve ever finished breastfeeding, still felt full, and thought, “I’ll just pump a little to feel comfortable,” only to find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of pumping—welcome to the pump trap.

It’s easy to fall into, and it happens because milk production works on demand and supply (not the other way around). The more you remove, the more your body makes. Most babies only take 65-80% of what’s in the breast until supply regulates around 3-4 months. So breasts are supposed to still have milk and feel a little full for cluster feeding and growth spurts.

How It Happens

1. Baby nurses but your breasts still feel full.

2. You pump “just a little” to relieve discomfort

3. Your body sees that extra milk removal as a signal to make even more.

4. Next time, you feel just as full (or fuller), so you pump again.

5. The cycle continues, and suddenly, you’re stuck in an oversupply loop.

Breaking Free From the Pump Trap

• Resist the urge to fully empty your breasts after feeds. Your body will adjust if you let it.

• Hand express just enough for comfort instead of pumping. This sends a weaker signal for more milk.

• Gradually reduce pumping sessions if you’ve already been stuck in the cycle. Skipping suddenly can lead to clogged ducts or mastitis.

• Trust your baby to regulate your supply. If they are nursing effectively, they will take what they need, and your body will match their demand.

Some parents need to pump for various reasons, and that’s okay. But if you’re feeling trapped in an endless pump cycle, know that your body can find balance again. Less pumping now may mean fewer issues later.

Have you been caught in the pump trap? What helped you break free?

Does Eat, Play, Sleep work?

- Julie Matheney

The Truth About Full Feedings & Reflux: Why “Eat, Play, Sleep” Might Be the Problem

If you’ve ever been told to “push for a full feeding” so baby will go longer between meals, this one’s for you.

Overly full bellies can actually make reflux worse. That “nice, long stretch” of sleep people promise often comes with more spit-up, discomfort, and a cranky baby.

Let’s talk about it.

The Problem with “Eat, Play, Sleep”

The Eat, Play, Sleep routine sounds great in theory—baby eats a big meal, stays awake for a bit, then sleeps peacefully until the next feed. But that’s not actually how most babies are wired.

Instead, many babies prefer Eat, Play, Eat, Sleep (or even snack their way to sleep). Why? Because:

• A super full stomach puts more pressure on the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the little valve that keeps milk down. Babies have immature LES muscles, meaning a too-full tummy makes reflux worse.

• Digestion is a process, not an instant fix. Smaller, more frequent feedings keep the stomach from overfilling, making digestion easier and reducing spit-up.

• Babies instinctively regulate their intake when given the chance. If we push them to take in more than they need, they may reflux it right back up.

Smaller, More Frequent Feeds = Happier Tummies

Instead of focusing on “full feedings” at every meal, consider a biologically normal feeding rhythm:

• Offer feeds more frequently, in smaller amounts

• Allow baby to cue for feeds as needed, even if it feels like a “snack”

• Follow baby’s natural feeding rhythm instead of rigid schedules

• Responsive feeding reduces reflux risk by preventing stomach over distension

But Won’t My Baby Sleep Less?

Not necessarily. A baby who is comfortable (not overstuffed and refluxy) is actually more likely to settle and sleep well. The goal isn’t to “tank them up” but to feed in a way that supports their digestion and comfort.

Bottom Line?

Bigger feedings don’t equal better sleep—they often mean more reflux, more discomfort, and more wake-ups. Let’s trust babies to tell us how much they need because when it comes to feeding, less (more often) is sometimes more.

Has this been your experience? Let’s talk in the comments.