From the moment they are born, babies rely on us to help regulate their nervous systems. They don’t yet have the ability to manage big emotions or stress on their own, so they depend on a process called co-regulation—where a calm, attuned caregiver helps them settle through connection, movement, and responsiveness.
One of the key ways we help babies regulate is through stimulation of the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a crucial part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the body’s ability to rest, digest, and feel safe. When a baby is distressed, our gentle movements—rocking, bouncing, rhythmic walking—can help stimulate their vagus nerve, slowing their heart rate, deepening their breath, and signaling safety to their nervous system. This is why holding, skin-to-skin contact, and even humming while swaying can be so powerful for calming a fussy baby.
But co-regulation isn’t just for babies—it’s something we continue to rely on throughout life. As adults, we help regulate each other’s nervous systems too. A warm hug, synchronized breathing, walking together, or simply being near someone who is grounded can help shift us from a state of stress to a state of calm. This is why we instinctively reach for loved ones when we’re overwhelmed—our nervous systems are wired to co-regulate. And just look at this amazing co-regulation happening between all the adults, even the one without the baby!
How to Use Co-Regulation for Yourself and Others:
• For Babies: Hold them close, sway, bounce, or walk rhythmically. Skin-to-skin contact, soft humming, or even just deep breathing while holding them can help regulate their nervous system.
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• For Adults: When a loved one is stressed, offer a hug, sit close, or breathe together. Even making eye contact or speaking in a calm, soothing voice can activate their parasympathetic nervous system and help them settle.
• For Yourself: If you’re feeling dysregulated, try gentle movement, deep breathing, or spending time with someone who feels grounding to you. Walking, rocking, or even humming can activate your own vagus nerve and bring a sense of calm.