Setting breastfeeding boundaries with a toddler

TODDLER BOUNDARIES

Breastfeeding has unique challenges at every age. You’d think after a combined total of 46 months of breastfeeding between my two girls I would have no stress, concerns or issues. Nope. Every child is an individual with their own virtues and vices. Every stage of breastfeeding has its own challenges and rewards.

In the toddler stage, I never worry about milk supply or if she’s getting enough milk. I know there’s milk. And at 19 months, Peach’s nutrition is coming from the family foods provided at meals and snacks. She’s getting a well balanced diet with multiple foods in each food group. Breast milk for her fills in nutritional gaps and provides immune boosting protection. I don’t worry about pumping. I retired my trusty pump almost 4 months ago. Shes (finally)(mostly) sleeping through the night and were both enjoying the rest. The biggest concern in the toddler phase is boundaries. How long and often can/should she have access to the breast? What to do when she asks for the breast and for whatever reason it’s not appropriate to feed at the moment?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. It comes down to what is best and what works for your family. Some will continue to nurse on demand and others will limit to certain times of day. Both of which are good choices. Both also mean continued breastfeeding and neither option necessarily means you’re ready to wean. But it can be difficult to process through how to manage these boundaries and navigate your next stage of development. Especially as toddlers are learning to ask for things and control their environment. And then tantrum or act out of frustration when they don’t get their way. If you’re struggling with this stage, I have phone consultations available to help find what works for your family.

Where are you getting your feeding advice from?

Feeding “advice” we would never tell an adult:

⌚️It hasn’t been 3 hours yet. You can’t possibly be hungry again

⏱It hasn’t been 3 hours yet. You can’t possibly be thirsty again.

🧊You need to drink all 64oz of your daily water intake in 4 equally portioned cups. If you can’t drink 16 ounces in one sitting, something is wrong with you.

🍽Clean plate club. Finish everything on your plate regardless of how full your stomach feels.

🍏Eat food purely for their nutritional value. 🍦Never have food simply for the comfort or enjoyment of it.

🔦Eat alone in a dark room and never with anyone else

💡How could you get so distracted while eating? Focus and pay attention.

🪑Eat until you’re done then leave the table immediately. Don’t hang out at the table for longer than needed.

🛌Never eat a bed time snack

🛏Wake up in the middle of the night thirsty? Too bad. Go back to bed you can have some water in the morning

⏰You have 15 minutes to eat. Tic toc. When the clock hits 15 you need to stop whether you’re done or not

🍴3 meals, 2 snacks. That’s it. 7, 9, 12, 3 and 5. Hungry or thirsty at a different time? Here’s a pen cap to chew on

🍔There’s only one way to eat and if you don’t eat like me and my family you’re doing it wrong

Do you get where I’m going here? Too often we analyze the science of breastfeeding instead of considering the art of feeding and eating. We try to make a literal formula for how our baby should eat when some times we have to appreciate feeding for what it is: an enjoyable and pleasurable sensory experience that is social and includes more than just calorie intake.