Breastfeeding Grief

Many times things don’t go as expected during labor and delivery and/or with breastfeeding. The loss of our expectation of what we thought would happen become the root of our grief and depression. It’s so easy to blame ourselves when things go wrong, even though our society is not set up to support postpartum families in any capacity, especially related to breastfeeding. This happens more than you think and I see it every day in my practice helping families in their breastfeeding journeys.

Grief is a spectrum that is different for everyone. You may not have even realized that the emotions you’re experiencing related to your breastfeeding journey not going as expected are in fact grief. Rage, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, shame and guilt could all actually be stemmed from grief.

Different people need different ways to approach and process their grief. How do you start the grieving process? Recognition that you’re grieving the loss of an expectation is the first step. Realizing that you’re not the only one who is grieving their birth or breastfeeding story at this very moment can also normalize what you’re feeling. Give yourself permission and time to grieve. You may have a healthy, thriving baby. You may have really supportive family. You may have every resource available to you. That doesn’t negate your experience or the emotions you’re feeling.

Other steps to working through your postpartum and breastfeeding grief:
⭐️Avoid self blame
⭐️Surround yourself with people who will support you or who have gone through a similar experience
⭐️Talk to someone safe about what you’re experiencing. This may need to be a trained therapist
⭐️Find an IBCLC to help you reach your feeding goals. Schedule your consultation with me at
⭐️Hire a postpartum doula to help with baby and self care
⭐️Honor your story and the journey you’re on
📷 @dionnachambers
🖊 @lalactation

Antidepressants and breastfeeding

Put your oxygen mask on first. When there is an emergency on a plane, we are instructed to put our mask on first before helping others. This is also critical when caring for our children. Stress, depression, and anxiety can play major roles in how we care for our babies and for ourselves. Antidepressants are OK to take while breastfeeding. When maternal mental illness is not addressed, research shows this not only has a negative impact on the mother’s overall health, but can impact the baby as well.

The risks of not addressing maternal mental health include:
✏️Poor infant growth, language and cognitive development
✏️Poor gross and fine motor development
✏️Less efficient breastfeeding or weaning from breastfeeding earlier than desired
✏️Poor infant sleep and increased maternal stress.

When considering antidepressant use during lactation, while most medications are considered safe for mom and baby, there is no “zero risk” option. However, the benefits of using a medication to help decrease depression and anxiety usually outweigh the risks acostares with taking a medication. If a mother has been on a certain med prior to breastfeeding and it worked well for her, it would be reasonable to resume that medication while breastfeeding. Sertraline (Zoloft) is a first-line drug for breastfeeding, due to documented low levels of exposure in breastfeeding babies and the very low number of adverse events described in case reports. Prozac is generally considered safe to take while breastfeeding; however, research shows that the average amount of the drug in breastmilk is higher than with other SSRIs.

When taking any medication, you want to monitor for side effects both in you and the baby. Most common side effects when taking antidepressants are:
🥛 Changes in milk supply
🛌 Sedation/sleepiness in baby
Poor feeding or weight gain in baby

Antidepressants can work well to help you feel balanced again. Work closely with an IBCLC while starting antidepressants to help continue and feel supported in your breastfeeding journey